… at being basic. I follow trends & am obsessed with social media, which are like the 2 biggies to being a basic betch. And of course we all know that fall is the quintessential glory time to be basic.
IT’S SO EASY RIGHT NOW.
So here I am.. about to give you my five super not-so-secret secrets on how to be your most basic & fabulous self this fall season. And no, it does NOT include drinking pumpkin spice lattes *cue the riots*.
Can I just say that I miss the 90s and early 00s SO MUCH!? *preach hands emoji* Don’t get me wrong.. I love having social media and a cell phone and internet but I also miss the fact that I had memorized about 10 people’s phone numbers and that I knew that eye contact is, in fact, not awkward.
I thoroughly believe that it should be a standard for a human being’s existence to have to work in service industry for AT LEAST a year. Like.. if you haven’t worked in service industry.. I don’t trust you.
Do you ever just see people that treat wait staff like butthole for their own inflated, egotistical entertainment and wanna slap them in the face with a cactus?
Listen humans of the Earth.. I do not want to sit here and act like I am this almighty woman wizard (I wish tho, amirite!?) that has the magic ability to teach all men how to stop being so flippin’ stupid..
When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I tried so so so frickin’ hard to sit there and think about how it is NOT the end of the world to be single again at my age. I mean, at first I really was upset. Especially since I lived with this guy and honestly thought I would be with him for the rest of my life (lol).
Ok. Everyone needs to mentally prepare themselves for this one. I was out being basic, eating tacos and drinking margs last night for #NationalTequilaDay and I was inspired to write about this government-level-of-importance topic. I was going to save this topic for a later date, but you can’t stop inspiration. *deep*
MEN: Let me, your newly appointed teacher, teach you some NOT OKAY ways that you stupid beings hit on women.
No, trust me. I would whole heartedly rather drown myself in chocolate covered raisins (those sneaky bastards) than tell you how alone and boyfriend-less I am. But that is exactly why I’m here: to embarrass myself in a sort of sick, twisted self-torture kinda way.
Or should I say Happy Birthday to myself? Oooh yeah it’s my birthday. Good ol’ July 31st. It’s also JK Rowling and Harry Potter’s birthday (the character, not Daniel Radcliffe), which is why I had my 10th birthday party be the release party of a HP book in a Barnes & Noble. You don’t have to tell me I’m cool CAUSE I KNOW IT!