How to be Basic: Fall Edition

Nuggets!! (yum, nuggets). I’m good…

like really good

… at being basic. I follow trends & am obsessed with social media, which are like the 2 biggies to being a basic betch. And of course we all know that fall is the quintessential glory time to be basic.

IT’S SO EASY RIGHT NOW.

So here I am.. about to give you my five super not-so-secret secrets on how to be your most basic & fabulous self this fall season. And no, it does NOT include drinking pumpkin spice lattes *cue the riots*.

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How to NOT Slide into a Woman’s DMs

Good lort men.. I mean COME ON. I know that “sliding into DMs” is all the rage right now. Heck, I did it quite recently.

BUT THERE IS A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO SLIDE.

Just like if you slide feet first down a slide at a playground and you land pleasantly at the bottom vs. sliding head first and your face landing in that big pile of dog shit.

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5 Ways to Work Off Those Pumpkin Spice Lattes around Charlotte

Why, hello pretty leetle sunshines! I missed you.

Did you miss me?

I’ll just take that as a yes. I decided to take a slight turn in my blog and brand as I am interested in more than just bashing f***boys and talking about my life experiences (hard to believe, I know).

Contrary to popular belief, I ALSO like wearing cute clothes, stuffing my face and then working out to burn off what I ferociously stuffed into my face hole.

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Continue reading “5 Ways to Work Off Those Pumpkin Spice Lattes around Charlotte”

10 Ways You Are Annoying the Living Piss Out of Your Bartender

I thoroughly believe that it should be a standard for a human being’s existence to have to work in service industry for AT LEAST a year. Like.. if you haven’t worked in service industry.. I don’t trust you.

Do you ever just see people that treat wait staff like butthole for their own inflated, egotistical entertainment and wanna slap them in the face with a cactus?

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15 Ways to Get a F***boy to Stop Talking to You

Ladies, we have all been there. You’re out at a bar with your girlfriends and some guy comes over to hit on you and buy you a drink.

Maybe you just aren’t wanting to get hit on or maybe you can already tell that you won’t like this dude in a million years. Whatever your reason, you want this dude to skedaddle.

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Well, baby muskrat, don’t fret.

I have 15 sure fire ways to make damn sure this f***boy never wants to talk to you again.

Get excited, muffins. You’re about to get a lifetime o’ knowledge from ya gurl.

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The Time A Man Child Ruined My Favorite Taco Place

Ok. Everyone needs to mentally prepare themselves for this one. I was out being basic, eating tacos and drinking margs last night for #NationalTequilaDay and I was inspired to write about this government-level-of-importance topic. I was going to save this topic for a later date, but you can’t stop inspiration. *deep*

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MEN: Let me, your newly appointed teacher, teach you some NOT OKAY ways that you stupid beings hit on women.

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Millennial Merrymakings: Exquisitely Extra or Unbelievably Unnecessary

WELCOME TO MY FIRST BLOG POST, FAM!

Or should I say Happy Birthday to myself? Oooh yeah it’s my birthday. Good ol’ July 31st. It’s also JK Rowling and Harry Potter’s birthday (the character, not Daniel Radcliffe), which is why I had my 10th birthday party be the release party of a HP book in a Barnes & Noble. You don’t have to tell me I’m cool CAUSE I KNOW IT!

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What a naturally perfect day to release my blog to the world? Name a better duo – blog debuts and birthdays – I’ll wait. Continue reading “Millennial Merrymakings: Exquisitely Extra or Unbelievably Unnecessary”