How to be Basic: Fall Edition

Nuggets!! (yum, nuggets). I’m good…

like really good

… at being basic. I follow trends & am obsessed with social media, which are like the 2 biggies to being a basic betch. And of course we all know that fall is the quintessential glory time to be basic.

IT’S SO EASY RIGHT NOW.

So here I am.. about to give you my five super not-so-secret secrets on how to be your most basic & fabulous self this fall season. And no, it does NOT include drinking pumpkin spice lattes *cue the riots*.

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How to NOT Slide into a Woman’s DMs

Good lort men.. I mean COME ON. I know that “sliding into DMs” is all the rage right now. Heck, I did it quite recently.

BUT THERE IS A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO SLIDE.

Just like if you slide feet first down a slide at a playground and you land pleasantly at the bottom vs. sliding head first and your face landing in that big pile of dog shit.

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5 Ways to Work Off Those Pumpkin Spice Lattes around Charlotte

Why, hello pretty leetle sunshines! I missed you.

Did you miss me?

I’ll just take that as a yes. I decided to take a slight turn in my blog and brand as I am interested in more than just bashing f***boys and talking about my life experiences (hard to believe, I know).

Contrary to popular belief, I ALSO like wearing cute clothes, stuffing my face and then working out to burn off what I ferociously stuffed into my face hole.

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10 Ways You Are Annoying the Living Piss Out of Your Bartender

I thoroughly believe that it should be a standard for a human being’s existence to have to work in service industry for AT LEAST a year. Like.. if you haven’t worked in service industry.. I don’t trust you.

Do you ever just see people that treat wait staff like butthole for their own inflated, egotistical entertainment and wanna slap them in the face with a cactus?

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I am Single and Ready for a Crap Load of Pringles

CAN WE TALK ABOUT BEING SINGLE?!

No, trust me. I would whole heartedly rather drown myself in chocolate covered raisins (those sneaky bastards) than tell you how alone and boyfriend-less I am. But that is exactly why I’m here: to embarrass myself in a sort of sick, twisted self-torture kinda way.

FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!

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